03/10/07 – An Epiphany

Life is finally great!

Why? Because for once I am getting to be happy and love myself!  It was nearly the impossible because before I had the chance to stop myself and check myself, things were spiraling out of control.  You may be reading this and saying that I am rambling but before you click away, let me fill you in!

Well not long ago, I was a wreck, not bad but just not me. I had for a long time not loved completely any others because I did not know how to love myself.  And then I loved someone so much that I lost myself.  For the first time ever I am completely free to take a chance and to be me. 

What I thought I wanted and what I needed are finally coming to play but previously were no where near each other.  I played with hearts and and got mine played in the process.  I disrespected others and disrespected myself.  I came out of the closet and jumped right back in when I thought it was something I should do.  And now today (not literally today but not long ago) I saw deep into my own eyes and saw a smile that was for once sincere and not painted on to make others comfortable.

So in closing, I am finally happy for me, and for my friends and mostly for my family who hasn’t always seen eye to eye with me but has had my back in what was the most troubling times ever.  And now I look to my future!

OK…that’s it I ran outta of words…or maybe I’m tired.

3/12/2007

 

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