About drunkeninsomniacwriter

I'm a mother, a daughter, a caregiver, a writer, a lover and a fighter! I am not perfect by design nor am I without flaws but my intent is always pure, my loyalty is infinite, I am true to those I love and firm in my beliefs! I am a DRUNKEN INSOMNIAC WRITER... always awake, aways writing... I cannot sleep until everyone has heard me! In so many words, I will die trying to achieve my dreams. I have stood in the face of adversity and survived. I fell to my knees in agony begging to die but I refuse to give up so easily. I am proud to be where I am today. Writing is my life because my life is writing! My debut book, The Virus Within is still available for purchase online and in stores via order! I also post content on: http://www.drunkeninsomniacwriter.blogspot.com

October

Stay tuned… Video Blogs to come.

Starting October 1st I will be posting & talking about some of my fav horror flicks. As we count down to Halloween, I will be discussing some movies past & present!

Any suggestions? Send them to rslewis_theauthor@hotmail.com

Well til next time kiddies…

Shalom 

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Instagram: @Insomniac_Writer

The Drunken Insomniac Writer is NOW on Tumblr: Home of the Drunken Insomniac Writer

 

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Afterwards

Right about now… That statement, that moment when you’re thinking about the other person wondering if they’re thinking about you… 

You’ve been hurt, angered and hurt again… The sheer thought of being ok shreds your heart to pieces.

And then all of the dust settles, the shock has settled in…you find yourself at a moment when you want to pick up the phone and call/text the other person. It was a habit for so long and despite that they left or hurt you, you’re still simply missing them. But you don’t call. You don’t text. You do nothing.

You tell yourself you’re gonna be ok. But for now it feels like it’s gonna be forever to never that you do.

You sit there with that lump building in your throat & tears forming in your eyes.

Well til next time kiddies…

Shalom 

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

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Letting Go

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.”

Psalms 118:8

Now although I’m not an atheist or agnostic… I try not to get too biblical or theological on my posts. However today’s random thought was brought to my last breakup…which was inevitable from day 1 nearly 4 years ago. It wasn’t that there was no love or anything like that because for the most part I did love this person just as I have other ex’s…and I would’ve bet back then that he was the one. My biggest problem was that I put more faith into us than G-d. Despite me efforts to do what I thought a (future) wife would…it didn’t matter because the other person wasn’t making the same effort I was. Aand we weren’t seeking God together. I thought we were…but we only moved further away from Him & His plan.

it was destined to fail. 

Besides, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife….or husband!

It then dawned on me like it had so many times that although any relationship/partnership takes some amount of work, it’s pointless & stupid if only one half is doing it. And there that’s where the arguments start because let’s face it…it’s just selfish. I wasn’t being respected or treated the way I deserved. So I bickered. Most think if you’re not getting physically beat up or verbally hurt, you’re not in an abusive relationship. 

WRONG! FALSE!

You can’t love someone without loving yourself first and you can’t love yourself by settling for being hurt by them in any form. If you’re someone’s option while you make them a priority… you’re selling yourself short and wasting time. I let my insecurities fester more by the day. Thinking I wasn’t good enough for someone clearly undeserving. But I was in love and list. But it is here that we fail first… If I had spent time letting the powers that be control things instead of me trying to ram a square peg in a round hole, I wouldn’t be blogging about this. 

I knew that I wasn’t in a good relationship but I settled because I didn’t feel like “starting over” nor did I want to accept what might’ve been better elsewhere.  The fear of change/letting go outweighs true happiness. Being comfortable means settling. Especially the older we get…we feel that we have less and less chances to feel “love” again. We even project that onto others. We trust in others to make us whole instead of letting G-d handle it. 

This man cheated with any and every female that would allow him to unprotected and it resulted in so much I care not to divulge. It didn’t help he worked in a strip club.

I trusted someone who I should’ve never trusted and I have to live with it. But I put faith in someone who was flawed and thus our fake union was flawed from the start. Had our faith been stronger than our flesh… things would’ve been a lot better.

Now I could sit hit and rant the filthiest bitch blog ever. I could go on about trash-talking what a horrible partner (or lack thereof) he was but what good would that do? Yeah he fucked up and I know he realizes it & I know one day, like all the rest… he’ll feel more like an ass. But in hindsight, I chose to get hurt so now I must take accountability for doing what most humans do…”trying to make it work”! Instead letting fate work the way it should & me having the better sense to move on to whatever better G-d had planned for me, I was stubborn… not that he was trying to let me go either. He kept me close enough with lies to make himself feel better I suppose.

But it is what it is…and I think after my 4th “serious” relationship in my lifetime, I finally get it now! 

Him loving me wasn’t the problem. Me trusting him wasn’t the problem. It was niether of us not trusting and loving a higher power than ourselves. Knowing that makes true love a little more hopeful. But I’m not giving him any credit…he was an asshole.


PS. That being said and all. He had the audacity to say, he loved me and that he was sorry.

Yeah I nearly fell for it again…being plain ol stupid! You can’t willingly, purposely AND repeatedly do something to hurt someone… then turn around to say I didn’t mean to hurt you. Proceed to tell them you still want them in your life but not change from doing the shit you know hurt them. Maybe he’s reading this & maybe not, feeling bad about the whole thing. But I found my own closure. No need asking why this or that. I am finding inner peace and as for the once “love” of my life looking for redemption, forgiveness or to make himself feel better by trying to smooth things over…

Well til next time kiddies…
Shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Instagram: @Insomniac_Writer

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IT: A review (Creepy Clown Edition)

This year we have been plagued/amused by a series of clowns in the media. From creepy pranks to the promos for IT and the new season of American Horror Story, these fuckers are everywhere. 

Despite it all, we still love them or hate them or if you’re like me…annoyed by them. Today I’m reviewing IT. Ok know I said I would get this review out sooner but I fuckin’ lied… Shoot me! No just kidding. I’ve been swamped with a few new projects-a-brewing. 

And come October I will be unveiling Horror Media countdown to Halloween & finally my vlogs, which will link directly to my YouTube channel & social media pages! 

That being said here are my very late takes on the 2017 release of IT which opened in theaters Friday Sept 8th.

What can I say, I loved this movie! I actually saw it twice! As a horror buff and Stephen King fan, I went in in meh expectations… because I’ve seen King adaptions and they either fly or fail…always feast or famine with the source material & very little room for gray area. Case in point: 

 We had Misery, which was awesome. Who didn’t fear and love Kathy Bates yet feel sorry for James Caan?

And then we had

(sigh)… Sleepwalkers, which I won’t lie, I secretly liked nonetheless but I won’t go into why but just Google the end credit score.

But despite all of that, I had this surging excitement brewing deep at the core. I was ready to see what the hype was all about! First off, The Losers club was cast carefully and excellently. I felt the connection between both the book as well the 90 miniseries. This movie had enough comical, scary & dramatic elements, especially since contains teen actors, which you don’t see acting like adults. These are kids with some fucked up issues.

I even like the changes such as changing the setting from the 50s to the 80s without trying and failing to incorporate every detail in the updated reboot. If you’re a fan like myself, you will notice the Easter eggs from the source material. From Ben’s bike, Silver to the Lego turtle in Georgie’s room to the “Tim Curry” version of Pennywise in the house on Neibolt St.

IT pays homage to both the 1990 miniseries and book very well. I won’t dive into that too deeply since everyone has probably already seen IT already.

Which brings me to the topic at hand, Pennywise…

Played this time around by Bill Skarsgärd, who I enjoyed watching. 

What I like about the 2017 Pennywise is that it stands alone from the 1990 version. Both are amazingly done, although Tim Curry will always be my fav. That being said… They took the character and gave it a completely different visual appeal. Much like the way Heath Ledger did with Dark Knight version of the Joker, which didn’t try to mimic the awesome Jack Nicholson… Skarsgärd does something fresh and creepy with Pennywise. What made me really happy was unlike the miniseries, they didn’t fully rely on Pennywise to scare the Losers. In the book, everyone has a different fear that terrorizes them in which IT uses to feed on because we’ll it’s like “seasoning the meat”. Despite Pennywise being his fav “skin” the alien likes to sport, we still see more than just the clown in the entire film. I’m guessing because they had a little more wiggle room being made for a R-rated release instead of TV miniseries. Heaven only knows that ABC (known for sitcoms in my day) had their work cut out for them trying to “PG” Stephen King back then. Which makes makes me respect Curry all the more…he managed to twist folks’ love for clowns all the while being edited for television.

That being said all the hype in the last year, all the creepy clown sightings have hyped you or scared you but was a great preparation for IT and I am stoked to see the next chapter when the Losers are grown. All in all, IT was awesome. 

If you haven’t seen it by now, check it out.

Well til next time kiddies…

Shalom 

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

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Review: Netflix’s Marvel Defenders

Hey gang it’s your favorite Insomniac here to talk about the new comic-book mashup: Marvel’s Defenders, which premiered today on Netflix!  I mean I literally have been waiting all summer… and it’s finally here!!  As if the hype wasn’t enough, everyone including yours truly has been posting on social media or otherwise talking about it since it’s inception with the debut Daredevil & Jessica Jones.

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Netflix and Marvel later added Luke Cage and Iron Fist to the mix, with the latter receiving mixed reviews from critics and fans.  But still to me worth checking out.

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All in all Netflix comic shows are more grittier and down to earth than it’s MCU’s Avengers superhero counterparts on the silver screen and Agents of SHIELD on TV… giving us some noteworthy TV goodies! I’m about halfway through the series and I must admit I am loving every moment of it. The show does get off to a slow start building up the plot but once our action heroes get together it’s EPIC! Even for you guys who really didn’t like Iron Fist and gave it a hard way to go you will be pleasantly surprised by Finn Jones’ performance. I mean on paper I was never really a big Iron Fist fan (I guess I just never gave it a chance prematurely) so when I saw the show I wasn’t expecting a whole lot but this show will be the Pinnacle of making Iron Fist a much better character as we see his character develop. Especially since he’s pinned with more “Adult-like” characters who check him instead of letting him run around like a child needing a reality check, especially Luke Cage. In his own right he is so focused on his own vendetta, that he doesn’t see the bigger picture…but to play devil’s advocate…so are the rest of them.  Once they meet and their stories collide, they see that they are only small parts to a bigger “whole”!

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With Defenders, you get exactly what you expect from a collaboration of superheroes teaming up to fight some Big baddies.  But what I like most about it is that it starts exactly where each individual show series left off and for those of you who haven’t tuned in to watch any of them apart from one another, you won’t be too lost with what’s going on. Trust me you will be pleasantly entertained! That being said I still recommend you watching them just stream it and just let your whole weekend go. Get comfy and get into Marvel/Netflix superhero fanfest…then tune into this amazing mashup, collabo or whatever you want to call it.

I mean honestly what I like about this compared to the Avengers, Thor, Iron Man and all that is that the characters feel more human. Pretty much everyone is your everyday guy or girl trying to do the right thing trying to help out. I mean sure they have some spectacular abilities but with the exception of Iron Fist aka Danny Rand (who doesn’t throw his money in your face like ahem Tony Stark, they’re not super rich or super high-powered characters making you feel like you’re in Fantasyland… well Luke Cage & Jessica Jones have some super-strength and Daredevil is a blind, super karate ninja guy but you know what I mean. This although a big change from the traditional Defenders comic and is more from the pages of Heroes for Hire, it’s still a good show to check out. Heck they even wear street clothes & get into street fights… against bad people, not aliens, inhumans or mutants… not in some other dimension, space or what have you but right in NY…well nevermind, all things that can turn to shit apparently seem to start in the Big Apple! Nonetheless they’ll finally have had their own show to tune into and now they’ll have to band forces to FIGHT! We’ll even get some fourplay for us Punisher/Jon Bernthal fans…wink wink. (Um Marvel/Mr. Stan Lee, I’ll need a check for that free plug) That being said let me know what you think. Do you like The Defenders like the Marvel Netflix?

I think it was worth the wait and I’m going to give it an awesome thumbs up!

Video cred: Faces of Marvel

Well until next time Kiddies,

Shalom… 😉

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

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When it’s gone…it’s…gone

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I should’ve cried my heart out now that you’re gone.
But I am a dry wasteland inside after so much you’ve done

I’ve been here before so many times for the same crime
Of loving fully someone not worth my space & time

Am I full of regrets? Perhaps, maybe But I am equally tired of pain
I’m fucking done of feeling stressed… too heavy on my brain

I thought I was your rib, I thought you were my air
A mistake I’ve made so much you’d think I was the one who didn’t care

I sit here facing my words and the very judgement I lapsed
But it’s the future I only see, no time to dwell on your or my pasts

I won’t gossip your fuck ups nor will I air our dirty laundry out to other ears and eyes
Because it was ours both to make and I chose to stick by your side

It’s not me being considerate of you or accountability that I lack
I’m just finally over your ways in the way and holding me back

I guess a part of me has already moved on
I guess I was pretty much done and ready to be gone

We were going to conquer the world together and prove them wrong
We were going to make the most epic story to tell along

And before you go so far as to think I’m an angry female, I’m not
I still care about you but I can’t do anymore…I gave all I got

But I guess I wasn’t good enough or hood enough for you to consider
A reality-show-type-stripper-hooker is more fun than a first-lady-type-Michelle-Obama

You could’ve had it all and now you’ll see what you had now that it’s gone
Serves your ass right for fucking over a queen for ratchet ass pawns

Drunken Insomniac Writer

Racism is Not Dead

The events that have unfolded not only today in Charlottesville but recently all over the country didn’t show me the harsh reality of racism, fascism, bigotry the outright phobias in this country for the 1st time. It didn’t make me disbelieve the distortion that was freedom. Why? Because the shit was never abolished with slavery or done away with marches & laws or bills that’ve been passed. They were simply hidden. The same people marching claiming to be Nazis & Klan members… those racist assholes have always been around. Their KKK hoods & robes were nicely tucked away & their Confederate flags & swatikas stashed away… All this while they either flashed a fake smile or even boldly rolled their eyes while mumbling “nigger” under their breath for the last 4-5 decades or so. 

Occasionally it reared it’s ugly face as the tensions boiled & the stress of holding it in for nearly a century spewed in a beating or a random hate crime. But after all that, things would die down or we focused our distracted attention on some foolish celebrity shenanigan or reality show drama. And it was then that the fake ass peace would condition us into thinking we had overcome… Or so we thought whenever the next tragedy or hashtag occurred. 

Trust me…the Matrix still had you.

That’s because under all the lies & the hype that AmeriKKKa was the Land of Free…was one simple truth: This land was stolen from Native Americans, built on the bloody backs of African slaves, later capitalized & fueled by the cheapened labor of their children’s children and that of immigrants… All of whom were deemed as less than human savages (the slave of course being the worst with our whitewashed history that we’ve been lied to about). Well we eventually called this place home too! And those who had the privilege of being White, Protestant or decendants of Europe had to share!

My skin, my hair, my culture, my heritage was always despised in desegregated schools or businesses. We were taught to hate ourselves and love their wealth! We were blinded to the truth for far too long. And now all of it is being exposed to a new generation! We weren’t just sheltered…We were disillusioned!

So what you see now, the so-called Making America Great Again is a prime example of a sleeping dragon that’s been beneath the exterior of the U.S. waiting for the right time to wake back up. Finally all that angst & racism that was taught to hide in plain site is now free to roam. 

Until Next Time Kiddies…Shalom!

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

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