Today’s Anniversary

So hey guys…it’s been a while since I got to typing and putting my feelings onto the page.  But I have been trying the video blog and YouTube shit and it’s not so bad.  But today’s blog was brought to you by the letter A.

Just kidding… But the topic starts with an A as in anniversary!

I woke up realizing…well… knowing that today, 11/9 was my own D-Day.  It was the anniversary of the ex, I recently came to leave. But I didn’t wake up with sadness, which I feared.  I wasn’t even angry anymore.  I was happy…shit maybe I am going through some manic shit as a result of being bi-polar.  (OK I have not been diagnosed with that shit but I could be…idk). 

Maybe it was all the frustrations I took out on the zombies in Call of Duty. Oh yeah…I think it was the thought of giving headshots to the Nazi zombies that I confronted, level after level!

Anywho, I woke up happy today because I think that I am starting to find inner peace because as soon as I went onto Facebook, they were showing some happy memories of my ex and I.  I knew it was coming the whole “On This Day” shit and I was wondering what kind of day it would be. 

Oh and yes I cropped out our faces….no need to continue being petty.

I got to thinking about how toxic it was for me the last four years.  I pretty much was in a relationship with a black hole (where you give and give and the other half absorbs and absorbs).  If I wanted to go out, have fun, engage in anything. I had to be the one to initiate it. I paid for nearly everything.  And when I looked back at how much I did, I wondered how delusional or insecure I was.  Now before you go judging me as to why I stayed and blah blah blah, there was the whole trying to be this supportive-watch-your-man-grow thing, but that wasn’t the case. I was being sucked dry and instead of running away, I ran towards it.

Now I won’t get into details of how bad or good things were because I am happy to have helped someone get on their feet and become better…even if it meant for someone else. I no longer harbor grudges or resentment or anything that would cause me pain. Because that shit is so unhealthy and at the end of the day, like I said, I chose to stay.  But it didn’t mean it wasn’t without pain…I let it consume me to the point of wanting to exact revenge.

omg rage-thing

I was so torn but I had to realized that I was expecting love from someone who could not give it (or would not). Now this epiphany did not come easily.  I had to go through a lot (I mean it was beyond your typical unfaithful guy…this shit was damn near deadly).  Nevertheless I got through it. Sitting here to day, happy. Why? Because I refused to let anything or anyone control my emotions like that ever again.  I needed to accept the fact that I gave permission to be treated as such in addition to the fact I didn’t accept long ago who I was choosing to be with.

And that’s what today’s blog was about: Accepting and Expecting!!!

I could be a Dumbass & stay stuck on foolery, but why?

Accept who the people are in your life but do not expect them to be someone they’re not or do something they can’t.  Remember, just because you cuddle with a snake and dress it like a puppy, doesn’t mean it won’t turn and bite you or squeeze the life outta you.  With that said you can either accept how they will treat you (good or bad), & leave or stay.  Some people are only in your lives for a brief time to teach you a lesson or to get to their intended destination.  You can’t always view it with disdain that they want to hurt you but often times they just end up doing it.

But how you live with that is up to you. You must live, learn and move on!

So today I focused more on another anniversary, It was the same day I went public with my small start up business, Philly Designated Drivers. Sometine when I met my ex…had I not met, my driving gigs probably wouldn’t have grown at that time.

So I focused on that a little… but as I look ahead, I realize that too must be concluded. (for now).  I woke up remembering that when you do the things that you love and focus more on that as a career, it feels less like a job.  So it is now that I embark on my writing career and such…blogs and all! I’m all media again baby!!!

Now I know I’ve said it before but what makes today pretty awesome, was that I look around me and see so much to be happy for, instead of being crappy about it.  Yeah I could be sad about being single but here I am no longer killing myself chasing someone who’s toxic (and he gets to be someone else’s problem). In addition to that, I realized that I had so many new and amazing people who care & loved me that, why the fuck was I pressed over anyone who wasn’t?

I’m done with the shit that made me a lesser person.  I mean it’s dumb of me to sit there and stay pressed over it.  I won’t give it power over me, shit I don’t even need to or will continue to talk about it

I have a new and awesome job at an awesome place with awesome people and oh I upgraded my old Chevy Impala to a new one!!

 So you see, each day in life is about new beginnings and starting over…or even going back to a happy point in life and reclaiming it.  My happiest day aside from bringing my child into the world was getting my book published. I missed that feeling and as I sit and write one story and edit my old manuscript…I am ready to fly!!!!

Actually…I’m not mad…odd!

Well til next time kiddies…

Shalom

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DUMBASS OF THE DAY: Microsoft & Xbox

And the Red Forman Award of the Day goes to… Microsoft and/or Xbox!

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I wasn’t pleased to see buried within all my emails a nasty little message from Microsoft that they were trimming the storage fat on their “cloud” servers. Yep OneDrive was reducing my space from like 30GB to 5GB. That’s right…FUCKING 5 GIGS. That’s the equivalent of my PC back in 95-96. That included discontinuing the 15 GB camera roll bonus that I had for automatically storing photos & vids from my Windows Phone.  As if that wasn’t heartbreaking enough. My Windows 8 device was starting to suck a little bit more as the tech monster company rolled out another version of their phone OS, Windows 10 to keep up the PC rollout version of Windows 10 not too long ago, which has come with nothing but headaches.

meme-faces-getting mad
ME as I read, “The Email”
As a result of these changes, you will be over your storage limit (visit the Storage page to check your account). If you don’t bring your OneDrive content under the new limits in the next 14 days, your account will become read only – you’ll be able to access your content, but not upload files. If you do not take action in one year, your content may be deleted. You can learn more at our FAQ.

 

As for the rollout for my PC, after a few months I found out that my apps on my primary administrative profile stopped working. I tried numerous, useless fixes but after awhile, the store, calendar, calculator, email, picture viewer, music, & movies player were unable to be opened.  Well I found a way around it by adding another Outlook account to my PC & making that the admin. But it wasn’t without learning that all of the other accounts on my PC would suffer from minor glitches after trying to Google & YouTube any type of fix I could find.  Eventually I settled on having 2 admin accounts to serve me as one.

ARRRGGG!!!

flip-the-table

Oh and regarding my phone, turns out that when they pushed Windows phone 10, they pushed developers to move all the cool apps there & as of yet failed to update all the other devices (even the ones just released right before the new software) I am guessing that both Windows 8 & 10 required double the work to support or something techy.  Not to mention they barely integrated the use of SD cards in the newer phones, although they now require them, so my phone crashes nearly everyday.  To add injury to insult, several apps refused to update to the new platform whilst others simply decided to pull out from the Microsoft store altogether. So while my phone of barely a year runs shitty apps like Instagram BETA, (yes BETA) I now run the risk of losing all of my precious vids & pics by moving them to my PC because my SD card & phone have inner turmoil… It’s either that or have the MS OS douchebags liquidate my account for I am assuming I will be violating terms by not removing nearly 15 gigs of what I have stored now??

annoyed-dude-come-on

So normally what I do in times of stress since I can’t reach for a pack of Marlboros anymore, I workout! It’s healthy & good for me when I have the writer’s block.  So a few weeks ago I turn on the good ol’ Xbox One & find out about 2 weeks ago that Xbox was terminating Xbox Fitness.  In order to keep up with Sony PS4, they previously started selling the console & Kinect separately instead of in a bundle (this too unbeknownst to me) because apparently this happened right around the time I bought this expensive shit! Looking back, I was soooo happy & impressed with my weight loss from the 360 intertwined with my other workouts, that I decided as a gamer & fitness freak, I would get the ever so awesome & hyped up Xbox One. I played it Best Buy & Game stop and so my mind was set! Forget the PS4… I was going for the Xbox to try out the new fitness stuff.

Xbox Fitness debuted with Microsoft’s Xbox One & allowed gamers to download workouts so they can exercise from the comfort of their living room.  Since arriving in 2013, you were able to make a one-time purchase of the various workouts like Beachbody, Jillian Michaels, Sean T, P90X, Tai CHi, & Yoga and have access to the content indefinitely. No gym needed! An added bonus for paid Live members was that you could get free workouts.  But to my dismay, I found out that the Kinect sitting right above would be as good as a paperweight.

rage-guy-meme

All workout content will officially be discontinued on July 1st, 2017. Those who have already paid will have access until then you won’t be able to make any fitness purchases from here on out.

According to Microsoft’s Marketing Coordinator and Community Manager for Xbox Fitness, Erica Bell, wrote, “Given the service relies on providing you with new and exciting content regularly, Microsoft has given much consideration to the reality updating the service regularly in order to sustain it. Therefore, the decision has been made to scale back our support for Xbox Fitness over the next year.”

Apparently, it’s too fucking complicated to keep up with the fitness needs of their consumers.  This DUMBASS must not know how booming the fitness industry is.  I still have DVDs I workout to & it’s faired great for me..  I don’t do the same workout anyway, so leaving a few fitness apps around until some revives the Kinect is the least they can do.  Although I gained some weight back being a desk jockey, I originally lost over 50lbs.  This below was me on diet & Xbox workouts alone on my 360, which I will be turning back to obviously. As you can see, I shed 15 lbs. in less than 2 months!

Weight Loss Journey 1st week

Just goes as a harsh reminder that you don’t actually “own” any fucking digital content bought from the Xbox store that’s not in your fucking hand. Case in point, songs I bought from Microsoft prior to change to Xbox Music to Groove or whatever the fuck, got lost in the madness. Claiming they no longer had access to those “albums” & they needed to be repurchased if not previously downloaded.

Fuck that shit! I got mp3skull! I am not paying for anything twice over!

Nonetheless, I recently saw that Xbox tried to put Band-Aids on their bullet wounds, as they released new workouts for free to use until next year. They even intend to offer so-called exchange-like refunds to us, “the sheep” in the form of Microsoft & Xbox store credit… good for about a year!

omg rage-thing

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

It’s no wonder Bill Gates originally hated the idea of a gaming console when they pitched the Xbox idea a few years back. However given the success of the gaming industry, he caved & offered full support.

Can you say ca-Ching? What’s even more insane is that Mr. Gates gave Xbox some autonomy from Microsoft as it’s own little entity.  Yeah equipped with CEOs & the whole nine. I guess giving them room to make Xbox cheaper than PS4… with it’s fairly ok game selection.

So now what?

What would have been better is to just make one OS to take on both desktop and gaming at the same time. They should’ve fully fused their phones & tables to create an unstoppable force of nature. Leave third party members to building hardware for desktop, workstations, living room and of course allow the nerds to do they’re own custom techy tech. Microsoft has all the tools to dominate Apple and Sony, but they don’t know what they’re doing and Bill Gates got duped from the giddy-yup. Instead dominating fucking Skynet-style, we got all these stupid entities within an entity. If Xbox and Windows unified Microsoft would be a lot stronger and a lot the non-sense could be easily avoided.

Well I guess I shouldn’t be too upset. Machines will never take over the world & exterminate us Terminator-style nor will they imprison us Matrix-style. Especially if we gotta wait for someone to be smart enough to be dumb enough to create an self-aware/self-sustaining A.I.

Neo is not impressed

Bill Gates you seriously need to get your subordinates & affiliates in order!!! This is why Android, Google, Apple & Sony to name a few are winning!

Until Next Time Kiddies…Shalom!

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bitch blog kitty

 

 

DUMBASS OF THE DAY: Broke Girls in The Club (A B*tch Blog)

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Maybe it’s me or the line of work I do but I don’t (nor will I ever) understand the notion of going out broke. You don’t have none of the following:

  1. No door cover money!
  2. No coat check money!
  3. No cab/car fare money!
  4. No drink money!
  5. No late night grub from drive-thru/diner money!

But you expecting dudes (maybe even your girls to spot you??)

Naw you need to stay that ass home & get your $$ right! There’s always next weekend…

Yep, this week’s Red Foreman Dumbass of the Day goes to Broke Ass Females.

I mean seriously, forget the fact it’s in the way… It’s not safe at all. Anything could happen where you could be in a situation with no phone, ride or surrounded by people who can and will hurt you.

You chicks need to fucking think smarter! There are rapists, killers and people who have no respect for human life or women. So do yourself and so many others a favor…

RESPECT YOURSELF!

AND BRING AT LEAST $20 WITH YA BROKE ASS! I mean it’s cool if your pockets are on E or you don’t have the funds every weekend. I mean if you can entertain yourself or friends, cool. Even better, if you can still go out without spending a buck, AWESOME! But don’t leech or beg… It’s just not kosher!

bitch blog kitty

‘Til next time kiddies…

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Black Women: We Have to do BETTER! (A B*tch Blog)

And the Red Forman Award of the Day goes to Ghetto Ass Hoodrats/THOTS

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Rarely do I ever point a judgmental finger at some folks, especially when it comes to classifying an entire group of people. But everyday I am out/about or I’m perusing social media, it pains me to see where we as women of color are failing. It’s not to say all because we are leading the race in secondary education to our male counterparts. Not to mention black American women are bypassing glass ceilings and taking more higher paying jobs. Hell we are even putting back those boxes of relaxer to show off natural hairstyles. But what does it mean for the groups of women I see on a regular basis? It’s not looking so great! We are leading the race on sad statistics like STDs, single parenting, etc.

PAUSE!

Before you read on thinking I am here to bash black women, STOP! I have had first hand experience with the black men who are failing our society who at times make me wanna trade chocolate for vanilla all over again. Seriously the sex-driven, bad-bitch lusting, booty worshipping, lazy, unemployed, deadbeat dad ass dudes are making a piss poor name for a lot of black men who are out here doing the damn thing… I swear you fellas can have your “THOTS” I am near through. I’m looking at my hand in the life game of poker and despite a full house… I am contemplating folding! Want to see why? Click Here on about Wanting to be Single

Check out my blog about the Loveless Nation We Live In or my Deadbeat Parent Blog!

Shit, I know all races/sexes have their embarrassments or socially inept castaways but from what I can tell, our big bad “baddies” are leading the race to downfall! My point isn’t that we are becoming the poster children for the worst of the worst. It is that our shitty behavior is always personified and often magnified as horrible! And sadly on some “Worldstar hiphop shit, it is! “The world is but a stage…” And we are the minstrel-hopping jesters!
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We already have woman bashing individuals who use their status in life as well as social media to downgrade women who wear weaves or are independent. I mean we live in a male-driven misogynistic society…but damn! So why pick on the black female, specifically? We aren’t the only ratchet individuals out there I am sure.

bad girls club
Bad Girls Club
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Jersey Shore

Yes again some other races/sexes are failing too but am I Caucasian, Asian or a male? NO! So I cannot comment on the state of affairs of such! So where did we go wrong? How can we repair the damage? Well to be honest it’s starts at home! As parents, & caregivers… Oh fuck, as adults… we are showing our children that it is ok to not value family, marriage, settling down or the home itself. It is okay to sleep around despite the risk of disease. We are showing them that the aspect of being a spouse is “uncool!” Something as simple as family dinner has become a fading memory in the black community. When the fuck did that happen?

Quite simply, we are teaching our already fucked up youth that is ok to run wild, self-hate and worst have zero fucking accountability for it all.
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I mean I hate to get all Biblical or theological but I can’t go a day without thinking about my late grandmother’s warning about these being the last days.  I mean to be immoral and full of non-love is the “in” thing to do.  I remember when I was on my abstinent kick… I got the teased and often looked at like I had AIDS.  It was hard to fathom that I no longer got drunk or high anymore.  When I tell folks I prefer reading, watching the CW or cartoons to reality TV shows, I swear I’m supposed to turn in my race card somewhere.

When did we trade “I’m black & I’m proud” for “Turn up”?
black proud womenvs.strip club turn up

Nonetheless, it brings me back to my original conclusion of our women.  Afros were traded for weaves.  Clothes that flaunted our curves modestly were traded for trashy next to nothingness that pervaded the result of poor dieting.

Little girls wanted to be doctors when they grew up and now they aspire to be strippers or porn stars.
african-american-female-doctor vs. 563_1000

Home Economics of learning to cook or clean were traded for tutorials on how to twerk and hood fight videos. I swore I wrote about this before…lol! Yeah gender roles change often but you still need to know how to Act Like a Lady! Remember being from the ghetto doesn’t mean You Have to Be Ghetto
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Funny I never thought that being a ho instead of a housewife would mean you were winning. I mean look how we glorify the role of being a side chick. We have moved to idolizing sex and money these days.  I am just hoping that this doesn’t lead to the destruction of civilization like it did in the Old Testament… That would be scary…
end-of-the-world
scary….
Well til later kiddies!

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My Own

The following Writing on the Wall is inspired by not only my Hump Day Thought of the Week.  It is brought to you by the foolishness that was my own.  I latched on to a ghost that I created because I couldn’t deal with what was in front of me at the time and quite frankly still is…

I guess I too am the Dumbass of the Day too… Go Figure!

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The Insomniac with the words of wisdom didn’t and wouldn’t heed them! Not the first time but shit happens! But here goes, Ladies and Gents…

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Wearing my heart on my sleeve is like walking through fire with gasoline
Expecting not to get burned, hoping not scorched by the seams of a foolish dream

I anticipated the outcome of a situation I warned myself against and yet instead
I remained delusional and I contemplated a different result in my own twisted head

I procrastinated using my own common sense and for what?
A few laughs and a free fuck?

Life has a way of preventing danger and yet we confuse what we need
With what we want and pretend to be confused when our scars bleed

I am twisted with my own fate that I stood in front of and yet I ignored
My heart obliterated from the choices I made because of the people I adorned

I can’t forget how I wanted to feel. I can’t pretend to hate any of those days
But it was the cost of my own sanity that I should’ve walked the other way

I trusted in a lie

I believed in a fairy tale that wasn’t my own.

I trusted in a lie

I created a fairy tale that wasn’t my own.

I trusted a lie

I pretended to not to see

I trusted a lie

And so the very fault of my pain is on me

Because the fairy tale… that lie…
was the result of a situation-ship,
I pretended to be a relationship
because I had no heart to face a hardship
or my being alone
when in turn I ended up more alone
more than I ever had been…on my own
Now again, alone and on my own

It is this that I created and refused some fucking foolishness to leave…

When I should’ve chose otherwise

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…the wait is over

…the fuckery returns 3/1
Just wait…

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DUMBASS OF THE DAY: Lil’ Wayne

dumbassblog

And the Dumbass of the Day award goes to none other than….

Lil’ Wayne!

YES!!! According to daily dish online… Lil’ Wayne aka Mr. Dwayne Carter has lost an official endorsement from PepsiCo’s Mountain Dew brand! Reports state that the decision was in response to the fiasco that stemmed from lyrics in a song.

Well to recap, this genius made some inappropriate references to the late Emmett Till in a remix for Future’s Karate Chop song back in February. Emmett Till was the 14-year-old Chicago kid who in 1955, while visiting relatives in Mississippi, was brutally tortured & killed for allegedly whistling at a white woman.

The lyrics, “Beat that pussy up like Emmett Till,” stirred quite the controversy after Till’s family expressed their unhappiness. Epic called the song’s leak an “unauthorized remix version” & had the lyrics removed. Epic chief L.A. Reid at the time, reached out to the Till family and personally apologized.

Lil’ Wayne did issue an apology to the family recently. But it did little to rectify anything as PepsiCo’s decision had come a few days later along with a statement from the company, “Offensive reference to a revered civil rights icon does not reflect the values of our brand.”

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My thoughts???? WHAT THE HELL ARE THE VALUES OF YOUR BRAND, Mountain Dew?

I will be brief…

Personally I’m not shocked! As much as I agree with the decision to drop Lil’ Wayne…one must ask why was he endorsed anyway?? I mean I know Mountain Dew is targeted towards younger folks. That being said did they think endorsing a rapper who not only engages in but promotes drug use/abuse was ok?? 

REALLY???!!??

Not to mention the flaunting of promiscuity or several babies out-of-wedlock… I mean is that ok too??

Think about what message this sends to our already misguided youth!

It’s one thing to promote being an individual but it’s something else altogether to promote being immoral as well!!

Seriously, these execs and big wigs in their big chairs flaunt/market these rappers or celebrities as well as their outlandish behavior. The worse it is, the more fame and money rolls in. Yet when it becomes a “politically incorrect” public relations fiasco and the protests of conscious folks outweigh the “cha-ching” sounds of money rolling in, well this is the result!

I guess it’ll pay to endorse someone a little more clean-cut next time… I’m sure they can find one rapper out there who fits the bill!

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References:
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/lil-wayne-apologizes-for-inappropriate-emmett-till-lyric-20130501#ixzz2SWfwV4cZ

http://www.power99.com/pages/riseandgrind.html?article=11257366#ixzz2SWcgz54B