Just Do It Nike and Kaepernick (buy or boycott?)

I had a whole other blog planned for today but I had to type up a new one for you today!

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Recently Nike and former 49ers QB, Colin Kaepernick revealed that he had been endorsed all this time. His deal signed back in 2011 had never been severed despite Colin not playing in the NFL since being fired. Kaepernick is probably more known for his silent protest than his quarterback stats after taking a knee during the national anthem in during several games during the 2016 season. Well now he is the new face of Nike. The Nike Dream Big ad seen (full add seen below) has already been viewed over 8 million times on YouTube, over 6 million times on their Instagram account and shared countless times everywhere else.

In attempt to revamp the logo “Just Do It”, which has been around since my childhood, Nike is trying to reach a demographic of “woke” urban youths. That being said since word got out, people have already turned this into race relations and have been on both sides of the fence. It’s like living in a real live sequel to Higher Learning (if it were to happen…just saying).

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On one side you have black Americans who support Nike and Kaepernick versus white Americans who do not. Then somewhere far right, you have Donald Trump who has again tweeted his opinion that no one asked for but expected. His last tweet a tad toned down but still “classic Trump” as he expressed his discontent Nike.

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This almost as to the point as previous tweets about NFL owners/coaches who allow support of silent kneeling protests (made popular by Kaepernick) and more recently Nike. You even have folks posting videos on social media of themselves burning Nike apparel.

I can understand boycotting and not supporting Nike, giving their purchased gear away or selling it on eBay…But to simply burn it?

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Maybe it perplexes me and I’m trying to understand the logic but you do realize that you’ve already supported them, right? They have made their money off of you and boycotting usually means “not” supporting someone.

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But whatever, who am I to judge rednecks? Alrighty then…moving along!

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On the other side, you’ve got folks buying Nike everything or at least sporting Nike stuff whenever possible. Hey I am all for that but don’t go trying to impress people with money you don’t have to buy stuff you don’t need. Like if you or your kid needs something athletic, ok fine. All I’m saying is don’t go in the Footlocker and go crazy only to realize that you’re broke trying to pay rent.

My thing is I actually applaud Nike but not because I like the ad…or not. But because as a former marketing major (for like a semester)…it makes sense or in this case dollars. OK this is why:

  1. They waited for the perfect time right as the NFL regular season was about to go under way.
  2. They targeted the black dollar. Black folks are known to spend a lot on shit. (we gotta look fresh)
  3. As a non-white consumer, I am not sure about the apparel purchasing habits of white Americans but I know black people have always clowned around about how white people keep wear the same sneakers forever. Like I said, I don’t know how true that is but if that stereotype is factual…then I don’t think the sports apareal conglomerate is afraid.

Nike ain’t stupid…clearly! NKE stocks climbed just after a brief drop and it held steady by the close of the day a shy amount $80… I will stay updated with their stocks as the days go by to see if I am right. Like I said, I’ve got a semester of know-how.

That being said, this country is still divided as ever. Perhaps as much as it was in the 60’s (I don’t know for sure because I wasn’t alive. Yet between this and so many tensions flaring…it’s scary. Not too long ago we had protests for both Black Lives Matter and whatever that Tiki torch bullshit was. The crazy part is that this and the political climate craziness is everywhere. I mean I cannot go on Instagram, Facebook or anywhere without seeing something race-related or otherwise political. Social media is now the platform for which everything is visible immediately. Long gone are the days of waiting for the daily paper or the evening news. This poses a dangerous issue because it only tells me that racism and so many other “isms” haven’t changed, it’s just being filmed.

It makes me wonder about the backlash that Tommie Smith and the other 2 Olympic winners faced in 1968. Their careers done because of a moment protesting against racism, poverty and awful oppression that blacks faced then and sadly are facing now.

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This protest much like Kaepernick’s has had the alt-right call these athletes unpatriotic or un-American, etc.

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But how do you show patriotism to a country that enslaved, beat, killed and caused so much worse to your brothers and sisters abroad? As much as I love my country, I am equally not proud of it. Although a sporting event is probably not the best place to protest or be political, the sad problem is that racism in this country should no longer be ignored. That being said, honestly it doesn’t matter where we protest, blacks will always be scrutinized for taking a stand. Look at Dr. King after he made his famous speech about the Vietnam War… but like Tommie Smith said in an interview in 2008, “…We had to be seen because we couldn’t be heard.”

But this is the problem with this country. Why is a man kneeling or raising his fist more controversial than cops beating a man to death or shooting him or worse when kids are being attacked with dogs and fire hoses?

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Now I am not saying that all cops are bad or that all whites are bad but there is a fine line between effectively using “force” and brutality. Why are we in such a tizzy about one thing and blind to another? The above 3 photos are from the 60’s and below a lot more recent. Read here I feel about HOW BLACK LIVES MATTER? Makes you think how fucked up this country really is.

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I mean it’s funny, we call Colin (I’m sorry but I am getting tired of spell check with his last name) disrespectful & unpatriotic but we won’t speak out against what he is protesting for. Mind you a green beret was the one who told him to kneel as opposed to sitting! He also supported his Constitutional right to protest. Colin has also expressed his respect for the armed services. If kneeling is so disrespectful, why do soldiers kneel for the fallen or everyone else in prayer? And again, there is actually no law saying that we have to stand during the national anthem…in fact the Constitution says it’s unlawful to force people to do so.

That being said… if I have this straight, we protest Nike for a PR campaign about racial injustice but where was this concern in the 80’s and 90’s when they paid unfair wages and used child labor/sweat shops? Really?

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Gotta love the “privilege” of saying there’s no racism but enjoy the benefits not being black…all of this often blows my mind. But again… This is America.

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Until later kiddies,

Shalom

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No Means NO (A B*tch Blog)

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So one day, I’m in the supermarket, minding my business and I notice this guy making the eyes… like literally staring me up and down in the produce section. I pay it no mind and make my way through the other aisles so I could hurry and get the heck out of there. Mind you it’s the first of the month and the store is rather crowded so I knew then and there that I would have to hurry it up if I wanted to see the remaining light of day. Well somewhere between the dairy section and the pet food, I see this dude, staring AGAIN. Now I am not really the confrontational type and honestly despite the fact that I wasn’t in the best of moods, I continued to ignore him. But I really just wanted to get out of the store at some point. What made matters worse was that eventually, I was going to have to stand in that long ass line at some point… especially behind the people who ignore shopping the other 28 days a month.

Anyway, I see the guy and at this point I gave him my best bitchy-go-away-I-have-acid-reflux-gas look. It didn’t work…and before I had the chance to approach him about his eye problem, he finally worked up the nerve to speak to me. He asked for my number but I wasn’t interested, so I gently and politely lied, saying that I was in a relationship. He was cool at first and then…

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He fucked up!

He offered to be my “friend”. I responded that I was good and faithful to my “fake” boyfriend. The conversation continued with him pleading that it was cool, that he didn’t care and yadda yadda yadda.

Like seriously?

WHAT THE FUCK!

Even if I were to be interested, what in the bloody hell makes you think that I would now entertain what you were offering, which is non-commitment and cheating?

I almost snapped on the guy but instead I gave him the advice of seeking out a chick that didn’t care.

Queue in the next guy…of course another dickhead that decided that he was going to force himself into my phone contacts. Like the first guy, this asshole was insistent on getting my number to be a fuck-buddy. After me telling him the same thing as the other dude, he proceeded to get upset.

Like really?

He went from trying to get my number and impressing me, to not caring if I was involved with someone to straight trying to jump my bones right then and there. And what made this interaction so annoying was the fact that despite me not wanting to do ho shit, I immediately was still a ho! But as if that wasn’t enough… this jerk had the nerve to be in a relationship! I mean he had a whole girlfriend and said it to me like it meant nothing!

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Go figure! If I’m being honest, I may flirt a bit but I ain’t a homewrecker…besides I’ve been on the other side of that fence.

Nope…not cool!

But these guys today… for real though? This is why a lot of girls literally ignore guys nowadays. This is pretty much why I’d rather be alone sometimes. I’m not saying all guys are like this but the fact I come across them more often than I’d like is saying something. (This is why I decided to work on finding and loving myself). What I attract says a lot about the city I reside in as well as myself and what I’m willing to tolerate.

Oh… ladies & gents don’t forget the guys in the DMs and social media inboxes. These ones that get worked up on simple posts with nothing exposed but a smile despite scrolling through hordes of “models,” strippers, prostitutes, slutty chicks, women who want the attention or those who are paid to sell sex or be sexy or who want attention. But do they stop there? Oh noooo… they wait until they get to a chick that’s not up for it and when the thirst gets unbelievable…OMG, he proceeds to irk the shit out of her!

I don’t mind compliments on photos or posts on social media, it makes my day. And I can understand there will be guys that will I’m attractive. That’s totally fine.

However dudes, if a lady (yes a lady says no… Just let her be. Why does she have to be a bitch, a ho or any other name? Why disrespect her?

Even worse is when a girl gives a guy a chance to get to know her and he immediately assumes she wants to have sex!

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We live in a society that if a female is doing okay for herself and a guy isn’t, his little ego can’t/won’t live up to the rest of him. Some guys really get in their feelings when a someone doesn’t want their goofy asses… and guess what? Yup you guessed it…we are all hoes despite not doing ho shit.

I wonder… Is getting rejected really that bad? Have we become that petty and sensitive? Is the idea of messing with a chick with no standards much like yourself not good enough? Is it fun to ruin some girl’s life? The some assholes have even proceeded to assault a female because they cannot fathom the fact that she doesn’t want his ass. I guess that’s that millennial shit I can’t understand or quite frankly tolerate.

However… Despite my inner feminist, us ladies have some self-evaluating to do.

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I cannot help but say we must be accountable for this bullshit as well. One must play Devil’s advocate and ask where/when did our standards drop so low that we allowed this behavior to be okay? Not to mention raising our already fatherless boys to be all sensitive, sore losers. Then there’s Mr. Nice-Guy…the one with some standards that we either friend-zone or flat out defensively end up being mean to. Yet don’t let that one fool you either…

I won’t dwell on it… But like I said before…We gotta do better!

If a lady is interested…you’ll know, fellas. And ladies…stop letting these fuck boys do not okay stuff!

Til next time,

Shalom

bitch blog kitty diw

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on:
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LIFE GOALS ON 💯

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So I have been focused on a few life altering things that have been in the best interest of not only bettering myself being able to allow my future self to provide for my daughter and family. Well a few years ago I made plans to fix facets of my life that I felt were in such need of improving that I knew I could not ignore them any longer. Well I looked at the spiral that was my life sometime 10 years ago to fix my finances, my faith, my passion, my family, my fitness, etc. I had just exited yet another shitty relationship (not my last mind you) and I knew that then and there I had to get shit back on track.

So I spent the about 2 years juggling work and single-motherhood with my plan set in motion to better my life. I started a business and even got my book off the ground.

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Life happened! As it always does. Despite starting a business and pondering another venture that would take more than I was prepared for, I lost my job. But what hit me hardest was losing my grandmother and an unborn child for the 2nd time. I was hesitant to admit it but I was crushed. Aside from that things with the rest of my family wasn’t peachy either. But this blog isn’t about that. It is about today and the life changing moment I had on the way from Starbucks.

As I sipped my Frappuccino, I listened to a motivational speaker and started thinking about my passion: my writing.

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I started blogging and writing little short stories. I started feeling some kind of resemblance of the me that was in 2007. That pre-30s writer who was full of fire. But it came and went. Life got in the way so much that I wouldn’t post as often as I wanted or I would write only to have shit sit in my drafts. But at least I was writing? Right? I set a goal to do about 500 words a day. It didn’t matter if my novels weren’t getting fleshed out. I was just happy to have words to write. I modeled my passion after my mentor, Stephen King. If this man could initially commit to 1000 words a day until later cranking out way more. I could do 500…even if it was something that had nothing to do with my books.

On to my finances. Now my credit score at one point was cool, ranging somewhere in the high 600’s and climbing but about 2 years ago right around the time when I was working my car share service (which was a hit until my car damn near fell apart…literally). I had to park it up and take temp jobs through Robert Half just to pay bills.

Did I mention that my kid was graduating 8th grade? (scrolls up) No I didn’t. Yeah she was about to enter high school and her tuition was behind and that car I was using to make a living that died… well I fell behind on the last 5 payments or so. Man shit had got so bad and so fast.

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I was in a fake relationship that distracted me so much from my life that I got engulfed in madness. Finally it ended around the time that I got a new permanent job…woohoo no temping!!

So now what?

Although the temp jobs were enough to keep things afloat and allowed me to pay bills, it wasn’t enough security. I did not want to be stuck like I had with one assignment ending and another nowhere in sight. Well last year, the security of a new gig gave me hope…well some!

I wasn’t out of the woods. Something needed to give and fast. As I strolled to work, I started analyzing life. I figured that my finances were my best bet. Well I looked at my debt to income ratio. I looked at what I could pay off first, what I could do without and I made a plan. After buying a new car at a high rate last year, and my student loans coming off of forbearance, I knew that I needed to make some smart choices and fast.

Well I continued car note payments and paid off revolving credit cards that I had. I opened one to increase the available credit I had on my credit reports. Made payments here and there. Finally!! I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not done but for the first time in probably this last decade, my credit score was in the 700s. But I still had to keep going. With my funds tightly budgeted, I started forging better, less impulsive spending habits. I was still check to check trying to catch up the shit-storm that I was in but then again, I was saving my funds so not bad. Best of all, I did it without borrowing money I knew I couldn’t repay. But still I needed work.

Back to my fitness…well I was already exercising regularly. It was time to go back to making healthier food choices and stop stressing. Once that got in order, I saw results and I felt better. Life was still a spiral but at least 2 things on my list were coming together.

And then it happened… I was suddenly a fitness instructor. My love for dancing as a kid, actually started to turn over a new leaf for me. I was helping myself and helping others. It made me feel so good inside, so much that I had to share my motivation with others. I wanted them to know that there was no one path, trick or secret to finding joy. But that it was a plethora of things. It was compartmentalizing of life’s problems and fixing them one at a time. Now, I still have other things that I have to fix and the fact of the matter is that the things I am fixing now are still a work in progress but that wasn’t what made me feel hopeful.

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Don’t get me wrong, there are somethings I would like to fix in life. Like moving out of my shitty neighborhood, seeing my kid get into college and becoming a success in her own right. I also would like to help my mom get well. So much I want to do. But I had to fix me first. I always had this problem with putting myself first and not paying attention to my needs. But I had to realize that self love is not selfish and more importantly I had to tell my helpful-sided nature that you cannot pour from an empty cup. So while I don’t have all the answers or solutions to others’ problems nor can I be able to help in ways that another may want, I am happy to at least share this newfound joy.

The best thing I think I can do is share my motivation and inspiration in hopes that maybe someone will find the inner strength to get through their own rough patch as well.

I got an email from a literary agent who was interested in my work. It made my day! I mean I don’t know what happened but after that day, my fingers were on fire! I completed a short story, a chapter in my novel and this blog in just 2 days. It was the match that was needed to spark that fire!! Holy Shit… I got my mojo back!

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So the point of this blog is that while you may have problems that feel overwhelming, it isn’t the end. And while some folks may feel like they have it all, they may not. Importantly, they are not letting it stop them from living and enjoying life. This climb may have been tough but I see the mountain top! It just feels so good to have these goals that are in place in addition to a plan.

Last but not least I got back on my faith but with this different outlook of the universe and the results of the life I’m living being the product of my effort. The most important thing to have with goals are then essential plans to make those goals come to life…even if one at a time. I put my faith in the Creator as well as myself. I looked at the gift I had been given that I had ignored so long ago. It was something my grandmother told me a long time ago that I never revealed to anyone. She told me I had a gift of ministering and inspiring people.

I think I was about 13 or so, giving her this speech about something with hints Biblical quotes and whatnot. She said it made her feel good and that I had a gift.

As I drank that Frappuccino that day, a light bulb went off. I posted a motivational video on social media later that day. It got a bunch of likes, hits and shares. Immediately, I saw and heard my grandma.

Weird…

Finally 2 and a half fucking months before my 38th birthday, I found my purpose…again. At least I think so.

This blog isn’t a go-to-guide at how to fix your life just some inspiration to let you know that you are equipped with the tools to pull yourself out of despondency. You just have to have a vision and a plan. If you can see it and work for it, it can happen. I wanted more than to idolize my mentors, I wanted to later become someone’s mentor. That aside, I started reading old blogs and tapping into that 20 something Rose, the original Drunken Insomniac Writer! I was so inspired and fierce with my words. I realized I had a gift, a gift that even a fucking disability could not deter!

Damn…that Frappucino was everything!

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Well Until Next Time Kiddies

shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer
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Claiming the Universe

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I know it’s been a while since posting but I have been so focused on specific tasks right about now. Namely one that I won’t reveal just yet. (sorry just wait on it)

I am at a point and place in my life where I am finally manifesting everything I want in and out of life. I have zero fucks left to give if it hurts or offends the next person. Why? Because how many times in life have we put on hold the things that we deserve, need and/or want for another individual who could not make returns on our investments towards them? Too many perhaps! Yes that includes those that would try to but could not and those who had every intention to. Sorry but I can’t feed myself on good intentions.

While I have no problems cheering on others or supporting them in some way if feasible, I cannot allow my own dreams to suffer. I mean what is the point of life if not to live it? Everyone can use support but I never want to look back with regret on the things I didn’t do for myself.

I believe that there is a balance in the universe and if you are too busy trying to tip the scales by waiting on the universe to give while you in turn do absolute shit, well you’re not gonna be happy.

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While you should never turn down a person in need that you could’ve helped or ever hold anyone else back, ultimately you should not be responsible to clean up everyone else’s fuck ups all the time. I mean where the hell is the accountability in that? I don’t mind helping you get through a rough patch or helping see your dreams come true but we are strongest after pulling our own selves from despondency. It’s like the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. But this goes both ways… you cannot anticipate others to learn from their mistakes nor cease to repeat them if you constantly enable folks through their problems. And you equally can’t anticipate others to always be your personal savior.

Although I had an idea of the notion of how the universe works, I never did fully understand it. The universe, God, karma, etc. will make returns on your investments but you must put forth something for it to be invested in as well as the effort. You must also pray and speak it into existence too. It’s just like physical fitness. I didn’t get stronger sitting on my ass I had to work for it! And although I may take it slow some days or fall back, my progress is the product of my effort. Besides faith without works is dead. I try to apply that ideology to any other facet in life. If you are tired of feeling empty, find a hobby. If you are broke, stop blowing your money or find ways to make/save better. If you want what you deserve out of this world you must stop playing victim to unfortunate circumstances, work hard as fuck, and claim what you deserve in it. This new change in attitude has created new habits and a newfound appreciation for life. I’m looking forward to reaping the benefits of it.

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Trust me anything is possible!

That being said, I know some of you are thinking, is that thought process selfish? No, because if you ask for my help and I offer said help that I feel is beneficial yet you don’t heed it, then you cannot be mad if the well runs dry later. This irks my soul because folks like this will remain in the same situation repeatedly and will turn right around and ask for help again for the same shit you tried to saved them from before. #sorrynotsorry

I have learned that’s probably the reason why people are so miserable because they sit back and instead of trying to fight through their fuck ups, they play victim. Then when the next person is happy or trying to be happy, here their miserable asses come. Stop doing that people! It’s stupid if not counterproductive to everyone. While I know some people cannot help their mental issues to get past this, they can at some point in a moment of lucidity know that they gotta make a change for the better. Like Mike said, “If you wanna make a change, start with the man in the mirror.” At the end of the day, we must take responsibility for our ways and stop blaming everyone else for our own shit.

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Ways to be happy:

  • Don’t sit there comparing yourself to others.
  • Don’t sit there bitter because those who hurt you appear happy. (they are probably dealing with shit too)
  • Don’t sit there waiting on a magical handout to help you out.
  • Don’t sit there mad because you can’t get your way (what are you a 3 year old?)
  • Don’t sit there counting your woes and things your are stressed over.
  • Don’t forget the only one who can truly stop you is you.
  • Don’t sit there waiting & preying on me to fail.

Anyways, this blog was not about the fuckery of others but my own. It’s not to fuss about what everyone else is or isn’t doing. I think I will save that for a bitch blog later on. I wanted to take a minute to focus on the fact that I am steadily I have been reaching goals, physically, financially, mentally and emotionally. As well as why I fell off. It was no one’s fault for any of the choices I have made in my teens or young adult life. Because at the end of it all, I have to answer for my shit & ask myself if I did all within my power to make things better. I may not be going at the speed of the hare but I intend on winning the race just as the tortoise did. Over the next few months, I may come off cold but I have some real shit to handle and I am not letting anything except the Most High stop me and even then I will use that to guide me…not discourage me. Roadblocks will come I am sure but and that’s ok. But I will not allow myself to let other people get in my way… including my own self. Now you can sit there and applaud me, be inspired by me or you can hate on me… but what will not happen is anyone stopping me!!!

That being said the woman in the mirror that I see myself becoming is a beast and is giving me the chills and feels… I can tell she moves different!

I gotta get my shit together because I have work to do!

Well Until Next Time Kiddies

shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer
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Polygamy? What’s the point? Let’s argue!

So I see a lot of talk about polygamy and usually I rarely will chime in my opinion. But I actually got to thinking and it dawned on me that it’s a pretty outdated notion these days.

Would I have or agree to a polygamous marriage? Am I able to handle it? Me? Nope probably not. However it isn’t because I would feel neglected or jealous or whatsoever…shit I barely want to bother shacking up with one human on a regular anymore…so to add another human in the mix, would simply annoy me. But in this day & age especially in the branded westernized-American culture we’ve been in for centuries… it’s highly unlikely that having multiple spouses is productive. Our generation) wasn’t raised to be polygamous & thus the majority are probably not mentally/emotionally/spiritually able.

Laws aside, it’s almost financially unfeasible for most to do so. It’s hard maintaining a one-income home in this economy especially if the wives are homemakers. Some of us fail to realize that females in traditional patriarchal societies didn’t have much income, legal rights, not to mention definitely not being head of household. So polygamy was usually the means of being cared for. Today it’s not much point to polygamy as women are more able to take care of themselves (some more stable then men) not to mention, it has nothing to do with population because we’re already depleting the planet’s resources @ over 7 billion humans.

That’s just the way society has been formed these days. You can either thank or blame the women’s rights & civil rights movements but honestly it is what it is.

Now as far as religion, which I won’t touch, that’s up to the participants but the former kinda still applies especially financially.

Why?

Think about it, most monotheistic religions require both wives to be “cared” for equally. When I say cared for, I don’t mean completely to provide but rather that the 2nd wife is supposed to get what the 1st gets. And if that’s not the case, let’s say that the it’s for the purpose for childbirth where the first wife is unable to bear or raise a child. Couple this with other stipulations that come into play…it pretty much makes this whole thing a tough act in the US of A.

Case in point: Husband marries 1st wife, then later 2nd. First of all, he can’t even give her the same simple tax filing rights, can’t claim her on benefits nor does she have any claim to whatever he should bequeath in his untimely demise…that goes to…ding ding ding… The first Wife! All that aside, most states if not all don’t even recognize polygamy and in most cases is punishable by law! Aside from faith, if a union not matched in man’s law, which is carried in “heaven” were to be made wouldn’t make it null and void somewhere? Making it then fornication? So what differentiates it from a plain old threesome? Or orgy?

Not saying that this is what polygamy boils down to but that’s the ignorant thought process of the average person these days.

All that aside, what about multiple husbands? Can a bride have multiple husbands… I’m curious and asking for a friend?

Honestly is it all worth it? I could go into further detail but you get the point. That being said, I am not saying polygamy is wrong or right. I am just saying it’s not worth the headache at least legally. Especially when most dudes only have threesomes and orgies in mind. 😁

And even if they don’t, still the laws that govern us don’t make any of it simple. Like I said, it’s not that I say it’s right or wrong… It’s just rather tedious and pointless. For all of that, just move to where it is permissible or start a petition. All that aside, what about multiple husbands? Can a bride have multiple husbands… Asking for a friend? 🤷

Hell, go to Congress.

Well Until Next Time Kiddies

shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer
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Me Myself & I

DIW RANDOM THOUGHTS

I recently went out on a date not too (too) long ago and while it was a fun time, not to mention me having a good time for once, I must admit I thought I would’ve felt more happy or something in good company. All I could think about was all the shit I had to do afterwards, my writing and Call of Duty. At first I thought it was him. But then I went on another date and it wasn’t their company either. I mean she was awesome too.

Then it dawned on me that the problem or shall I say in this example, solution…was me. So when I found time, I did a little experiment. I went out on a dinner date solo (yep all by myself) and guess what?

I really fucking loved it!

Now I am not conceited or stuck or on myself or even a narcissist. And don’t get me wrong, I do like being a social butterfly. However, what I came to realize is that I enjoy me, myself and I. While this has made me a tad introverted, I won’t lie, it shed light on a particular thing that I’ve ignored… which was the fact I had spent too much time & the best years of my adult life on people (who were in my life longer than they deserved to be). No matter what my foolery, I clung onto the ideology that I need to be partnered with someone and that being single is the most horrible thing ever.

Now I am not saying that I want to be alone the remainder of my days or unmarried. But I figure the reason why I spent so much time unhappy within in a relationship was not only because of the men (or women) I chose but because how I saw myself while with them. To quote Perks of Being a Wallflower: “…we accept the love we think we deserve…” Even if we don’t know it, often times we deserve better but we bounce from relationship to relationship without giving ourselves adequate time to heal and find true love. Somewhere down the line we eventually feel like shit about it and the cycle repeats itself later on. We search for answers in faith, friends, family, work or whatever everywhere but within the soul.

And this quest doesn’t have to have a timestamp. Think about the fact that we spend half our lives searching for for the right one, the rest of our lives dealing with that decision and whatever is left trying to find ourselves.

I came to the conclusion until I am where and who I want to be not to mention ready to share myself and welcome others, I have no intention on being with anyone in any shape form or fashion. Call me selfish but I am only halfway there & I don’t intend on messing it up with random or casual sex either. Because we as human are so addicted to companionship that we are OK with being a side-piece or abused/neglected by others. And if I’m allowed to play Devil’s Advocate, we also screw things up for others because we’re not truly ready to open ourselves up… oblivious to it even.

When you first become happy with yourself, then you will be truly happy with others. More importantly, we learn to no longer settle. Now there may be some of you that are at that point already…and I applaud you but this here is my official (if not 10th) time in life to find myself. And I ain’t getting any younger so I need get my shit together soon.

Besides if you can’t be happy with you and you alone…why or how do you expect someone else to be happy with you? At this point in my life, I am more worried about the time I’ve wasted with the wrong one than what I “wasted” by myself thus far. Because trust me, the time I have spent single has been everything but wasted. Shit, while so many of us females, especially black females are out here talking about how happy we are by saying that we don’t know where we’d be without “him” we hide the possibility that we could probably be much farther in life. It’s not to say the bad relationships aren’t lessons but often times we stretch shit longer than we should.

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So I am going to sit back and sip my wine…enjoy some more writing, gaming, travelling and everything life has to offer but moreso I intend to continue discovering what makes me awesome. It’s okay to be a little selfish and to be alone with your thoughts. Use that time to mold those thoughts into positive ones.

Oh and not to dig too deep… there will be people who think that you are selfish because you want more “me” time. However there’s nothing wrong with that. It is totally okay. Don’t become a hermit in the hills or anything…that is just overkill still do not let others rush you. And definetly don’t let them trick you into thinking that you are an asshole because you tell them no for whatever. You are not obligated to be or do things with people. Some folks who are in turn afraid to be solo (or tired of it) and will force you to believe that you should be too…

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But that’s not so! Saying no doesn’t make you selfish especially if you’re always saying yes! So sit back folks, enjoy the show and just wait for it…

Well Until Next Time Kiddies

shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer
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Soda Made My Kid Fat

No lack of going outside & playing made your kid fat!
If liberal parents are going to criticize & even sue soda making companies, fast food chains & junk food snack producers… Then you might as well point some of the blame at video game makers, computer tech companies, hell even the internet for allowing your kids to sit around doing nothing all damn day! Stop blaming crappy food companies for your kids being overweight or overactive. Let their assed go out & play. Crappy foods YOU buy for them nonetheless! Yeah I know safety can be an issue but it’s no excuse.
But here’s a better bet… Blame yourselves moms & dads, instead of pointing fingers at the companies responsible for marketing ads towards kids. So bitchslap yourselves too for not having the decent sense to make them get off of their asses & burn calories!
All those electronic devices you let them zone out to keep out of your way on…that’s all on you!

But in hindsight, you little fuckers need to get up & do something! I tell my kid to get up, workout, play or something. She doesn’t wanna listen to me, well it’s on her… Not to be cruel but at the end of the day, if you don’t wanna have heart disease or feel shitty or be unhealthy, then that’s up to you.

If I workout,  she or anyone else can totally get to sweating with me. I won’t force or beg. I mean you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink…

Well I could always take away the WiFi… 😈

 Well til next time kiddies…

Shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on Instagram: @Insomniac_Writer

The Drunken Insomniac Writer is NOW on Tumblr: Home of the Drunken Insomniac Writer

Check out my YouTube channel & subscribe to: https://www.youtube.com/user/RSLEWIStheauthor