poem of thought, 101

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Departing the house of pain and lies filled with rooms of doubt and despair.
I stepped away and looked down at my ashes in my hands, the smoke in my hair.
I kept walking away never stopping to look back, not contemplating one turn
Because I had poured the gasoline, struck the match and watched it all burn.
Was I finally free? I was let go of all your disappointments that led to my stress
All I could look forward now to was my surrender to my own happiness.
No longer would you pollute my sight.  No longer would you cause my tears.
Because I finally found a way to let go of what kept me insane these past years.
I won’t allow you and all that follow you make me prematurely grow old
It’s time I begin the fight to repair my soul.
No longer would I tear pieces of myself away to build you up
No longer would I belittle myself to nothing more than a convenient fuck.
You see I am done with you about as much as I am done with what ruined my past
It’s time for me to take the present and look toward building my better future at last.
I’ve been here before staring at the horizon of bliss
To keep from going back I won’t think of the good I might miss.
Because once I finally let go and found the courage to stand tall through the disdain
I realize that the only good in you was shrouded in selfish means you sought to gain.
I see now that it was a mirage and that the love was all a fraud, a fake
From that overwhelming nightmare, I am now finally awake.
Good bye, I’m gone from here. I see now the lesson I never truly learned
Until  I had poured the gasoline, struck the match and watched it all burn.

#slaveryisover

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Mid-life Crisis: Guess What? You’re Not in Your 20s Anymore!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Graduation day: Four years of high school & memories made! All the drama & adolescent fun now behind you, your eyes set on a myriad of future possibilities, the world is your oyster and you’re ready to take it on full speed ahead! For some folks it’s a dreams come true.
high-school-graduation
For the rest of us…well…
Fast forward 20 years!!

FUCK!

Here you are sitting at a job you most likely despise to pay bills & buy shit you don’t need for assholes you probably don’t like! Or worst you tried to live your dream & either some stupid mistakes impaled it or your screwed up somewhere. You may be broke or even incarcerated. Maybe it was society? Maybe it was a series if bad decisions. Perhaps peer pressure or just the fucked up possibility that shit just happens!

Either way you’ve come to the realization that your life has passed you by & if you’re lucky it added on about 20 lbs. or so to boot. You’ve maybe even tried to smarten up & save money for a rainy day or special moment. But if life has taught you anything, it’s that you’re caught in a constant shit storm with no umbrella! 💩☔

Cue in mid-life crisis!

It’s that perpetual rat race where you know your strides are longer than everyone else’s & though your legs seem to be longer or moving quicker than most, face it you’re going nowhere & fast!
Things started so well & promising. Shit things may have even faired well for a while but the possibility of poor choices fucked it up for you.
Quite simply you’re unhappy. Everyone else seems to be winning but you. It’s ok though, it gets better. There’s always chocolate cake & ice cream day in the nursing home in about another 40 years or so from now!

What the hell went wrong? Life was so promising!

But there’s hope! The race isn’t over. You still got gas in the tank & there’s life in you yet. Behold there is a God and there is a solution out there somewhere. You just need that proverbial push of motivation to get you back on track.

The way I see it is that your mistakes, setbacks & poor choices or lack thereof (procrastination) have molded you into a much wiser adversary. Now you’re more equipped to deal with life better than the “20-something version of you. You know well the consequences of right & wrong. Hopefully these days you’re the type of person who learns from mistakes instead of dwelling on them or even worse…repeating them. Either way life isn’t over neither is the fight! You’re Rocky after fighting Apollo Creed!

rocky1rocky face

Sure you lost the match but you’re a winner for trying and the fight is far from over…besides you kick ass in the sequel (wink wink) LOL.

rocky  art museum

Well until next time Kiddies,

Shalom 😉

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